Melancholic Heart.

 

I am up on Melancholy Hill waiting and just waiting for that special someone. That someone, who will sweep me off the ground. The one, who will finally understand, how difficult it is to live with me. Moreover, for their whole life. With someone like me, who is always anxious, panicky and sad. Always anticipating the worst of all the circumstances and even in good times feeling sorrow. Worried, always worried…Will the happiness I am experiencing go away in one snap…spoof!!! Gone.

I am scared. For life you can say or for living. Death is not scary as Living is. Living with the sadness and a constant fear of pushing away the only friends and family close to me. Making sure they don’t feel bad or upset with you because you don’t want to lose them. When will you learn? That no one is running away from you but you are pushing them away for you are scared of being hurt.

I want to heal and I am making efforts to heal myself because I am responsible for my own mental peace. My happiness and handling this sorrow inside my head are my responsibilities.

So far the journey has not been that great. Just making sure to talk to the right person is very important. Honestly it is easier to push people away then get hurt intensely.Well, this feeling won’t go away easy. 

"Some people are just born with melancholy in their hearts."

 We just have to deal with it. Live the rest of our life embracing it.